A Happy, Totally PC, Non-Denominational Holiday

"The Un-Jolly Elf"
Ballpoint Pen on Arches Cold-Pressed Paper

So, I haven't posted in a while, but to be honest, there wasn't really anything I felt like posting about. I mean, yeah, it's the holiday season and all, but I'm afraid I'm one of those strange people who doesn't get a lot of joy out of it.

Now before you go being all judgmental, I'm not materialistic or selfish. In fact, you can ask anyone who knows me, and they'll all tell you that I'm about the most un-selfish person they know. And no, I don't have unrealistic expectations or unreasonable goals, and I'm not one of those so-called bleeding hearts. So why, then, does the season of giving always give me the blues?

In a word, people.

I may not be unreasonable, unrealistic, shallow, greedy, or demanding, but I can't stop other people from behaving that way. It's funny how an event that's supposed to foster kindness and good will tends to bring out the worst in people. Allow me to point something out - the fact that you're buying a gift for someone else does not excuse your rudeness, impatience, or lack of consideration. Retail workers are not paid to be your objects of abuse. They are paid to clean the store and take your money. They don't want to be stuck in the midst of a mob at a sales counter any more than you do, but unlike you, they don't have a choice.

It's all a matter of perspective, so for those of you who have trouble finding that perspective, let me help you. The cashier at WalMart isn't responsible for the fact that you spent twenty minutes waiting in line. The clerk at the gas station wasn't the reason you've spent half an hour sitting in traffic. The girl at the drive-thru window can't help the fact that your kids are getting on your nerves. And if you think they get paid to listen to your crap, you'd be wrong. They can refuse to serve you, and they can say it with a smile. Do you really want to be that customer?

Personally, I think there's a shoe store in hell where people like that are forced to spend eternity as a clerk working on Black Friday, but that's just my happy opinion. At any rate, here's to hoping that your holiday season, whatever it may be, is joyously devoid of these assholes. Peace!